Monika Shafuda
Being a single mother is two-way traffic – meaning that you have to juggle household responsibilities alone, work and childcare and carry the weight of two parents at the same time.
In Namibia we have brave women who endured the hardship of raising children alone, not simply because it is what they want, but because it appears to be caused by many circumstances which are sometimes uneasy to mitigate, such as untimely death, cultural norms, and laws like protection orders and divorce, just to mention a few.
While the road of single motherhood is filled with love and personal growth, it carries challenges that might drag them to be caught up in worldly things that have no positive impact on their lives due to the fact that sometimes they try by all means to find ways of survival, such as drugs, alcohol, crime, dropping out of school, prostitution… The list goes on.
I am sure that no child out there would want or choose to be raised by one parent, because a child raised by both parents plays a significant role in shaping the character of a child by giving a different perspective on the life of a child and building resilience.
Unseen battles and sacrifices
Single mothers make sure that their children have school uniforms and always prepare food for their children. Mothers often go miles escorting their children to school and doing homework. They completely give up their precious personal dreams, be it temporarily or permanently, to ensure their child’s dreams are achieved without delay.
Challenges faced by single mothers
- Name labelling: Some may label boys raised by single mothers as “mama’s boys”, suggesting that such upbringing may hinder their growth.
2. Financial burden: Single mothers struggle to get financial support to sustain a child’s needs, such as buying clothes, food and all the necessary support for a child to get a proper upbringing, because there is no one standing there for them.
- Judgement: Sometimes single mothers face judgement from society and people unfairly and based on prejudice, as they are the root cause of the situation they are going through, and these lead to depression and consequences, which is mental illness.
A call for parents:Raising children together, if there is a man out there having a child that is being raised by a single mother, I do have advice for him:
- Share responsibilities equally. Parenting is all about sharing responsibilities, and it’s more about helping a child to endure both cognitive and physical challenges, such as taking the child to school, etc.
Single mothers deserve our support because they are warriors who never give up on their children, unlike many cowards who quit when they are close to victory.
*Monika Shafuda is a founder of Good Seed Daycare and Kindergarten in the Evululuko informal settlement, Oshakati.
