Couch Cat – Battle your fat butt and belly

Jackie Wilson Asheeke

After the holidays, eating fat food must stop. Stand in the mirror naked. Grab your belly (use two hands if you must). Then, turn around and twerk. Look at that sight in the mirror. You know exactly how much is too much. Juicy and curvy is good – but now is the time to make yourself even better.

Here is what I do. First, I slow my roll with the junk and fast food. Pizza, soda, and chips are curse words for me. The best way to get your mojo back on eating properly is to pay attention to what goes into your mouth. Don’t eat mindlessly.

Drink as much clean water as you can all day long. Sometimes when you think you are hungry; you are actually thirsty.

Take a mug of very hot water, squeeze a quarter of a lemon in it. Close your eyes, think of good sex and drink it every morning or evening before you sleep. It is not a tasty beverage. If you can add some fresh ginger, cinnamon and maybe a dollop of honey…ok. But, drink it.

Do not eat foods with processed white sugar. Go for proteins and vitamin filled foods. Say goodbye to chocolate, candy and any kind of ice cream until Easter.

I love broccoli and asparagus. I love green beans, spinach, and most leafy veggies. I enjoy a great chicken Caesar salad with fat free dressing.

Starting with those areas of comfort, I eat those things at every meal. The other day I ate a bowl of canned chicken noodle soup (drain out the salty liquid but keep it for other things). Then, I served it over steamed green beans in a bowl. I sprinkled it with pine nuts for crunch.

Watch your portion control! Take 3/4ths of what you think you can eat and use a salad plate, not a dinner plate. You will be shocked at how full you are after eating that way.

If you can eat one hot freshly baked Brötchen per day ok. If not, cut it out altogether. I went a week without eating any bread.

The other day, I made hot spicy strips of beef liver (fried in olive oil, herbs, salt, pepper and a teaspoon of salted butter). I made massive amounts of onions cooked in beef broth. I removed the meat from the pan and threw in broccoli flowerets and onions. I tossed them in the meat juices and scrapings in the liver pan until they were soft and fully coated.

It was great!

When I have any salad, I add tuna fish or salmon (depending on my budget) or spiced chicken breasts (fast grilled in olive oil and herbs). I sprinkle the salad with shredded mozzarella or parmesan. That makes it a filling meal. Adding chickpeas, beans, lentils or nuts to any salad, gives it more protein and makes it more filling.

I have cut out red meat until Easter. For now, it is grilled or poached fish or fowl only.

Carrots with pineapple bits or mandarin oranges, boiled in orange juice is a winner.

A baked potato can be a great meal. Diced spicy chicken breast, spinach and low fat plain yogurt makes that potato demand a standing ovation after you eat it.

My point is to go with foods you already like to eat and embellish on that. Don’t forget to take a daily multivitamin plus iron! Ask your doctor.

Mix your revised eating with a bit of exercise. I take daily walks around the block. Fire up the headsets and get a play list that makes you move your hips – dance around the house for an hour. If you have kids, run around the house playing with them until you are sweating. Do your housework at double speed. Skip the elevator at work, run up the stairs. Get that heart rate up. I am near death when I finish doing meaningful exercises. But each time, it gets better.

I drank enough over the holidays. I have eliminated all alcohol until Easter. You can do this too!

To my pot belly and jiggly butt: “Let’s get ready to rummmble!”

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