Couch Cat – Thieves are snatching wigs!

Jackie Wilson Asheeke

I read that in some towns up North, thieves are snatching wigs off women’s head to resell them. Has life in Namibia sunk to this all-time low?

First, let me stop laughing.

Then, let me say, Yuck. Imagine wearing some unknown unhygienic hair from another sista’s lice, sweat, or dandruff filled scalp on your head? I mean really? It is a health risk to wear unwashed wig hair from someone else’s head.

If some insane thief goes for my wig, I am goin’ completely ‘hood. I am takin’ off my shoes and running him down right there on the streets with my nappy, smashed head in full view. Ladies, stop being vain and chase your hair down. Give the man who took it a swift kick in the nuts to dissuade him from doing it again. Liberate your wig!

We know that our hair looks horrid underneath those wigs. Do you really want everyone on the street seeing you like that? The humiliation is too much to contemplate. Women must fight for their self-respect tooth and nail.

You women out there know very well that your man, brother, son or nephew is a thief. You are complicit in another woman’s humiliation by allowing a wig thief in your house. You have to draw the line when he snatches wigs off another woman’s head! Today it is his victims who are humiliated and embarrassed in public, tomorrow it is YOU. Deny all food and other ‘goodies’ unless stealing wigs is off his thieving menu.

Ladies, we must get serious about this.

Men have been trained to NEVER touch a sista’s hair. Men know that is taboo. And yet, here we are. Is this the new normal? Are times so tough that a N$500+ human hair wig is on the underground market just like a cell phone where people buy it for pennies on the dollar? What is this world coming to?

The sordid truth is that there are women out there willing to pay for the wig from another woman’s head. If there was no resale market, stealing wigs off a woman’s head would have no value – it would not happen. So, ladies, it is on us to stop this humiliating, insulting, put down that wig thieves are dishing out. The police will do nothing to help us; we have to help ourselves. The cops will probably roll with laughter in their chairs at the charge desk if anyone comes in. They will, as usual, shame the victims.

The first counter-attack on wig theft is to NEVER buy someone else’s hair. We are all broke, underpaid or unemployed. We must have some shred of dignity in this messed up world. We are all trying to look good with a mask on! It is hard for a sista’ to try to look like something when our luscious lips and smiling mouths are hidden. Eyes, nails, and hair are the tools of lookin’ good. Let us not profit from someone else’s misery.

Women out there considering buying some other sista’s hard-earned hair from thieves need to lose their “Black Woman’s Membership Card.”

We must not prey on each other and cannibalize another woman’s dignity in such a way. This particularly odious level of thieving can be stopped if women (and salons and street vendors) do not buy stolen hair.

Another note. Folks wearing wigs that are so easily snatched off – what are you doing to secure it to your head? Someone attempting to take my wig would be slowed down by the extra layer of pins, glue and clips I use. To snatch my wig off would draw blood. Those few seconds where the slimy thief makes his snatch and has to pull even harder to get it off my head gives me a chance to kick him in the nuts to save my hair and run for safety.

Folks in Namibia are not chivalrous. They will watch someone get robbed and use it as that day’s dose of reality TV entertainment. Anyone witnessing this degrading attack must step up and lend a hand. At least film the attack or photograph the thief’s face. Post it online. Name and shame these low-life, weak, unmanly characters snatching a woman’s wig off her head!

Track down the wig snatchers! Up with a woman’s dignity!

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