Hanhote Hotty Ndinomolo
In most cases, we are worried about things that are less important, such as what people are going to say, losing friends or doubting ourselves. All that does not really matter. However, there are essential values, basic principles and rules that every man should live by, silently; in private or public. In a group or when alone.
- Talk to God often.
No one is comparable to God. He is our father, Alpha and Omega. He is always ready to listen; he will not judge nor tell the next person. Read your bible. I like the books of Job, Genesis, Proverbs and Psalms, they keep me grounded. Make it a mantra to communicate to God at least twice daily, when you wake up in the morning and at night before bed. I can’t emphasize this enough. You are never too fly to pray. You are nothing without prayer.
- Workout and lift heavy weights.
Free therapy. Everybody knows you can not borrow or buy a fit body. You will feel good and build unstoppable discipline. Everyone will treat you with respect, even strangers. You will look good in clothes. Several recent studies have shown that working out reduces stress, increases intelligence and helps with depression. You do not need expensive equipment or a gym membership, home bodyweight exercises are highly effective as well.
- People will always judge a book by its cover.
Whether you want or not, people will always make their pre-determined conclusions about you at first glance, based on your appearance. Your smell, your dressing code, the colours you wear, walking style and hairstyle? All that speaks volume. Take care of your lips too. There is nothing sexy about walking around with dry, grey and chapped lips. A man with self-respect cannot afford to wear a wrinkled shirt and a dusty pair of shoes. There is nothing sexy about dirty white sneakers, not even All Stars tekkies. It’s all a lie. Wear clean and ironed clothes. Nobody is going to tell you that your mouth stinks, remember that. Religiously carry sugar-free mint gums on your person. Get a nice and fresh haircut that suits your face. A confident man walks up straight with shoulders back, chest out and face up. Invest in a classic perfume, it does not have to be expensive. Old money style is always safe. Nobody is going to respect a man that is looking homeless, they will pity you instead.
- Don’t drink to get drunk.
A glass of wine, champagne or a sip from your favorite drink is okay from time to time. What I am saying is, do not let the alcohol control you, you must always be in control otherwise, you will lose respect and honor from yourself and everybody else, including your kids, partner and even community members. Your relationships will be broken. Alcohol abuse is bad. The hangover will eat you alive in the morning and you will be less productive. You will miss your gym session and other important tasks. Skin dehydration, red eyes and a stinking mouth will be some of the consequences you will suffer from.
- Fall in love with pain and challenges.
The thing is, life is already set. It’s like seasons, there will always be winters and summers on this earth, the only way to avoid them is to create your own planet. It rains on everybody, the rich too. Develop massive discipline to do what must be done irrespective of what is happening around you or your mood. No pain is permanent, have you ever seen a season last for the whole year? Exactly.
- Learn public speaking and read books.
A man should be able to ace a presentation and deliver an amazing speech at an event on behalf of his family, without shivering. Your wife should never have to cower or cover her face when you start talking. Not even your kids. Learn how to communicate effectively. I have witnessed men who say a lot of unnecessary things and bore the audience with long talks. Even longer prayers. Do not do it! Learn how to chair a meeting or direct a ceremony properly.
- Love your children.
How do you go to bed and sleep peacefully knowing that you are an absent father to someone? If you have to sell this earth to help out and provide for your own offsprings, then you are doing exceptionally well. It does not matter whether you are together with the kids’ mother or not, it’s not about the baby mama, it’s about your baby. Let us do better as men in this area.
In conclusion, every man should live with a purpose. You do not have to be a slave to your vices. Be in control. Is it easy? Of course not, but trying and working on yourself every day to become a better version is essential and non-negotiable. You are a king, live like one.
*Hanhote Hotty Ndinomolo is an SEO, a motivational speaker, MC, leadership coach and mentor and an author. email address: ndinomolohanhote100@gmail.com. Instagram: hotty__na
