There was a time in our society when life’s most important milestones were marked with dignity, simplicity, and community spirit. Weddings were celebrations of union, not exhibitions of wealth. Funerals were moments of mourning and remembrance, not stages for social competition. Graduation ceremonies were symbols of achievement, not financial burdens. Today, however, something has gone terribly wrong.
We are becoming a society obsessed with appearances, one that increasingly measures worth through spectacle rather than substance. Nowhere is this more evident than in the rising and often absurd costs associated with weddings, funerals and, more recently, graduations. What should be deeply personal and meaningful occasions have been transformed into expensive productions that many can simply not afford.
This is particularly troubling within communities that are already economically vulnerable. In many black communities across Namibia, there exists an unspoken but powerful pressure to “show up” in ways that are financially unsustainable. Weddings must be grand. Funerals must be elaborate. Graduation celebrations must be picture-perfect. To do otherwise is to risk judgement, whispers, and, in some cases, social exclusion.
But at what cost? Families are going into debt to host weddings that last a single day. Livestock is slaughtered, tents are hired, outfits are purchased, and catering is arranged, not out of genuine desire, but out of obligation. Funerals, too, have become disturbingly extravagant. Instead of focusing on honouring the life of the departed, attention shifts to the scale of the event: the size of the marquee, the quality of the catering, the number of attendees.
Grief, it seems, must now be performed. And now, even graduation, a moment that should symbolise perseverance, growth, and hope, has not escaped this troubling trend. As highlighted in recent reporting, the cost of graduating in Namibia has become prohibitively expensive for many young people. Students are expected to pay for gowns, photography, transport, ceremony fees, and celebrations, with costs reaching upwards of N$3500.
For a country grappling with high youth unemployment, this is nothing short of absurd.
The stories of students like Maria Kambonde and Paulus Shilongo are not isolated cases. They represent a growing number of young Namibians who find themselves forced to choose between celebrating their academic achievements and maintaining financial stability. Some are even opting out of graduation ceremonies altogether, not because they do not value the moment, but because they simply cannot afford it.
This is a tragedy. What message are we sending to our youth when the culmination of years of hard work becomes yet another financial hurdle? What does it say about us as a society when achievement must be validated through expenditure?
The problem, at its core, is not merely economic; it is cultural. We have normalised excess. We have allowed social media to dictate standards that are unrealistic and, frankly, harmful. Platforms are flooded with curated images of lavish weddings, extravagant funerals, and glamorous graduation photoshoots. These images create a false sense of normalcy, leading many to believe that anything less is inadequate.
But this is an illusion, one that is costing us dearly. Parents, already burdened by the rising cost of living, are stretching their finances to meet these expectations. Some take on debt. Others sacrifice essential needs. All for the sake of a moment that will pass, leaving behind financial strain that lingers.
Financial advisors have repeatedly warned against this pattern. Money that could be invested in education, business opportunities, or job-seeking efforts is instead being poured into ceremonies. In an economy that is not absorbing graduates at the pace it should, this misallocation of resources is particularly concerning.
We must ask ourselves: are we celebrating success, or are we disguising insecurity? There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to celebrate life’s milestones. Joy, after all, is an essential part of the human experience. But when celebration becomes competition, when meaning is overshadowed by materialism, and when individuals are pressured into spending beyond their means, then we have lost our way.
Our society must recalibrate. Institutions, too, have a role to play. Universities and colleges must recognise the financial realities facing their students and ensure that graduation ceremonies are inclusive rather than exclusionary. Efforts to reduce costs, such as using in-house venues and offering flexible payment options, are steps in the right direction, but they must become standard practice, not exceptions.
Communities must also begin to challenge the norms that perpetuate this cycle. There must be space for modest weddings, simple funerals, and affordable graduations without judgement. Respect should not be tied to extravagance. Dignity does not require display.
Most importantly, individuals must find the courage to resist societal pressure. It is not easy to go against the grain, especially in close-knit communities where expectations run deep. But change begins with small acts of defiance, with choosing authenticity over approval, substance over spectacle.
We must return to a place where meaning matters more than money. Where a wedding is about love, not logistics.
Where a funeral is about remembrance, not reputation.
Where a graduation is about achievement, not affordability.
If we fail to confront this growing culture of excess, we risk creating a society where people are valued not for who they are, but for what they can display. A society where financial strain is hidden behind smiles and staged photographs. A society where the poor are pushed further into hardship in pursuit of acceptance.
That is not a future we should accept. The question, then, is simple but urgent: what kind of society do we want to be?
One driven by compassion, understanding, and realism? Or one consumed by appearances, where the cost of belonging is simply too high? The answer will determine not only how we celebrate life’s milestones but also how we live our lives in between.
