Young Namibians speak about the rising cost of relationships
Patience Makwele
Thirty-five-year-old Michael Amutenya pauses while typing a message on his phone before asking a woman he recently started seeing out on a date.
“A simple date can easily cost N$400 or more if you include transport, food and drinks. So sometimes you think twice before asking someone out,” he said.
For many young Namibians, dating now involves financial pressure, social expectations and influence from social media.
Images shared on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok often show couples enjoying restaurant dinners, luxury gifts and holidays. While these posts reflect only part of reality, they have shaped expectations around relationships.
Twenty-three-year-old university student Natasha Kandjii said social media has changed how young people view dating.
“People are chasing trends. You see someone being taken to expensive restaurants or receiving big gifts and suddenly that becomes the standard,” she said.
She said the pressure can create conflict between couples who cannot afford that lifestyle.
“Not everyone has money like that, especially us students or young people who are still trying to find jobs. But because of social media, people feel like love must look expensive,” she expressed.
Relationship counsellor Helena Mulenga said economic pressure has always influenced relationships, but social media has added new expectations.
“Young people are constantly exposed to curated lifestyles online,” she said.
“What they see on social media is often unrealistic, but it still shapes expectations about how relationships should look.”
Mulenga said these expectations can create tension between partners.
“When financial realities do not match those expectations, it can create frustration, resentment and sometimes emotional abuse,” she said.
Many young people also face unemployment and financial uncertainty, which affects relationships.
Thirty-year-old mechanic Joseph Matengu said the pressure to spend money can discourage men from dating.
“Sometimes you feel like you must prove yourself financially before you can even think about dating or approaching a woman in today’s world,” he said. “If you cannot take someone out or buy gifts, people think you are not serious.”
Matengu said some of his friends avoid relationships until they become financially stable.
“You see guys focusing on their grind and hustling first because they feel embarrassed dating without money,” he said.
Social researcher Dr Miguel Stainley said this pressure is common among young men.
“In many cultures, men are still expected to provide financially in relationships,” he said. “But today’s economic reality makes that expectation difficult to meet.”
Stainley said this situation can lead to insecurity and conflict in relationships.
Women also say they face pressure linked to social expectations.
Twenty-two-year-old Maria Ipinge said many women feel expected to maintain a certain appearance and lifestyle.
“There is pressure to look good, dress well and keep up with trends,” she said. “Sometimes people think women are demanding, but we are also influenced by what we see online.”
Psychologist Mary Osthuizen said both men and women are navigating changing social norms.
“Young people today are dating in a world where relationships are constantly compared, displayed and judged online,” she said.
She said this environment can increase emotional pressure.
“When expectations become unrealistic, disappointment and conflict become more likely,” she said.
Experts also warn that relationship tension can sometimes lead to violence.
Police statistics show more than 4 400 gender-based violence cases were recorded between April 2024 and February 2025, including over 1 300 rape cases.
Studies also show that about one in three Namibian women has experienced physical or emotional violence from a partner.
Relationship counsellors say financial stress and jealousy can increase conflict.
“When people feel trapped by financial pressure, insecurity or emotional dependence, relationships can become volatile,” Stainley said.
Despite these challenges, some young people believe relationships do not need to revolve around money.
“Dating should not be a competition,” Kandjii said. “If two people understand each other, you do not need expensive things to be happy.”
Matengu agreed by saying, “Sometimes the best dates are just talking and laughing,” he said. “But in today’s world, people forget that because a person is already expected to provide even before meeting for drinks.”
